I’ve been single for nearly a year now and all I can say is that it has been the wildest year of my life. I am not the same person I was 12 months ago and overall, I’d say that is definitely a good thing but when I sit and reflect on how things have changed and things I have experienced going through a breakup, it blows my mind a little.
When you’re newly single and first going through a breakup, it can feel like your behaviour is so out of character and at times, pure unacceptable and that made me feel so ashamed in myself at times but honestly, girls, give yourself a break!
Your heart is broken, you’re learning to lead a whole new life and you’re trying to rediscover yourself. You will have some wild times and do things that on reflection, you probably wouldn’t do if you had your time again but it’s all part of the process and I promise you, we’ve all been there.
I thought I’d share 5 things every girl does and goes through during a breakup to make sure all you newly single women know you’re not alone and you’re simply going through the motions!
1. The Break Up Hair Cut
This might sound seriously cliche and you might be able to resist for months, purely to try and resist doing the classic ‘new hair, new me’ but I guarantee it happens!
I became single in September and didn’t have my new hair moment until April but it happened and I felt like a new woman for it! I did the classic ‘mop chop’ and had my long hair cut to just below my shoulders and I felt re-energised after.
I felt classy, mature and a bit like a boss. I enjoyed the shorter hair for a few months before having my heart broken again when I did the opposite and got extensions because as much as I loved the short hair, long hair has always been a comfort blanket for me and I needed that confidence boost.
2. Dodgy Dates
Whether you actually go on a date or you just chat over the phone, you will speak to people that aren’t right for you and in reality, you’d never even consider because to put it bluntly, you’re looking for distractions.
Going from having someone to talk to and be with all the time to being alone can be really hard and you do find yourself holding onto any conversation you can get and that is FINE!
Do not let anyone tell you how long you should wait to speak to someone new or go on a date, it is up to you! The first few people you associate with after your breakup probably will not last but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy their company – do what you have to do to feel OK every day.
3. Get Way Too Drunk
I didn’t actually drink alcohol for the whole three years I was with my ex and I stayed teetotal for about 6 weeks after we split up but then I went on a night out with work and about an hour in, I got a text of someone who knew my ex telling me something I didn’t want to hear and that was it, I got seriously drunk.
Since then, I have started drinking alcohol on nights out with friends and that is fine. I used to have fun without drinking and still have fun now I do drink but I think most girls will have a blow out on a night out when they’re newly single and that is fine!
As long as you stay safe and make sure you’re getting drunk with people you trust that will have your back, just have fun!
4. Become VERY Active on Social Media
I barely posted on Instagram when I had a boyfriend and didn’t get many likes when I did. I also never ever used Snapchat or Facebook and to be honest, I just assumed social media had died a bit and that no one really used it but I was wrong, it was just me who never looked!
It’s inevitable that once you’re single, you kind of have to become a bit more social media savvy. You become a lot more active with the night out pictures and selfies on Instagram and a lot more of your life with make it on to your Snapchat story and that’s great – own it!
5. Gain a New Found Confidence
If you’re very newly single, you might have retreated into your shell a bit and be feeling massively lost and under confident and be wondering what the hell I am talking about but I promise you, your glow up is coming.
I gained my confidence pretty quick after becoming single but I have friends who took way longer but within a few months, the transformation started, their confidence started to grow and they got that new lease of life that I promise you will get too.
It can take days, weeks or even months to find a new level of confidence in yourself but it will come because being single allows you to explore yourself and your life and make it how you want it to be and that is a great thing!
Break ups are really hard but I promise, the best times of your life can come after them and as long as you carry on pushing forward, you will get the good times that come as a result of these rough times.
Don’t isolate yourself, go with the flow, ride the waves, go through the motions and you will come out the other side of this breakup a better woman!